Savor LA by Parallel Lines

This entry begins with my friend Joan (pronounced Joanne!). She is fantastic and is part of a new company called Parallel Lines. I barely know all the details but her and her team (kara and Mike) put on Savor LA on July 30th at Miauhaus Sudios
1201 South La Brea Avenue. Will and I weren't going to attend originally because of the $35 dollar price tag each but lucky for us, we know Joan! So, we got to go VIP! Amazing!

Will and I strolled in at about 7:45 and were greeted by lovely ladies, one of them being a friend I had not seen in years. That's always a good way to start a night. We entered the photography studio blanketed in white to find tables buzzing w
ith people. After whetting our appetites at the fruit and cheese table, we proceeded with our mini dessert adventure. We began with Plaisir and I"m not sure the "real" name but they were like these little delicious bites of puffy bread filled with cream. Moving on we had S'muffins from Gotta Have S'more which were muffins that somehow were s'mores. These were a bit dry and not too delicious. We moved onto our VIP treatment in our sectioned off area with open bar and indulged in Freixenet Champagne with Pama from the alcohol sponsors. The Pama Liquer tasted refreshing and the Champagne was smooth. Will drank a couple blushing ladies, as did I. We ventured off into the general public area and stood in the longest line there for N'Ice Cream. This was probably my favorite thing at the event. I had the Argentine Caramel with salt ice cream and Will, no surprise, had the mint-chip. They were both delicious, super creamy and VEGAN! I'm not sure what argentine caramel means but maybe like a dulce de leche?

N'ICE CREAM

PLAISIR

next we had little cake and cream sandwiches that I really liked by Frosted Cupcakery and also tried weird little chocolate bites with some kind of fruit ( i think) by The Crosby Sadly, this guy is like waaaay out in the valley and let's be honest, I probably will not make it out there any time because I can't stand being in traffic. Last we had these little cute brownies by Sweets For The Soul with very substantial names considering. They had Obama Brownies made of white and dark chocolate, need I say more.

The whole time we were there, Will and I basically were smiling as big as possible stoked out of our minds that everything was FREEEEEEE. We seriously had the BEST time and owe Joan big time.
We ended our adventure at the food truck No Reservations where we completed our REVERSE DINNER with two lamb tacos and a Rosemary's baby Wrap. Both were delicious and filling. Perfect way to end an evening.

Oinkster

I work in advertising, where everyone talks about "effective reach", meaning the number of times a person has to be exposed to a brand or product to make a purchase. The prevailing wisdom is "3 plus", so if I hear about, say, a penis enlargement pill brand at least three times I'm likely to purchase that brand when the time arises (it's just an example people!).

That being the case, our trip to Oinkster was long overdue. I've heard about their sandwiches from at least eight different sources over the past few years. Problem is they're in Eagle Rock, which to someone on the other side of the 5 seems like the Inland Empire (dumbest name ever, right?). Of course, it's really not that far - like 15 minutes from Los Feliz.

Best of all, Jacquie and I finally remembered to bring a camera so we can post pictures of things like their outdoor bathrooms.


Oinkster is a diner with plenty of outside seating. I spent a few minutes looking at the sandwich menu before noticing a sub-menu featuring specials, including a big daddy burger that sounded like it could crush a small asian man. Unfortunately I don't remember what it was called - their online menu only lists the standard items. It was something like The Oinkster Special.

It did not disappoint.


You are staring at a 1/3 pound burger, a fist size mass of pastrami, half a cup of chili and a sauce infused with pure testosterone. This is a Man's Sandwich. Jacquie looked at it and grew back hair.

Upon lifting it I discovered it had the same heft as a small toddler. Now this I could get into!

Meanwhile, Jacquie balanced our caloric intake with a veggie burger and "frites", aka "fries" served with mayo instead of ketchup.


I am not a fan of such nomenclature. The dip doesn't change the entree - chicken nuggets with bbq sauce don't suddenly become "le chicken tots" when you use sweet n sour.

Back to me. It's literally the size of my head.

Pictured: Gettysburg aftermath or Oinkster special?

Needless to say it was pretty damn good. Jacquie liked hers as well - especially the garlic mayonnaise.

There's not much more to say. I mean look at the pictures, you know exactly what you're getting into when you go to Oinkster. There is no pretension, you're getting meat and fried food and it is going to taste good. Crushing that burger was more an act of heroic machismo than it was a culinary experience (and a mighty impressive act at that).

Our score for Oinkster: 13 bronze palm fronds.

Our First Post - The Santa Fe Burger at Laurelwood Brewing Co.

Portland International Airport is shaped like an H. I know this because I walked through every damn branch looking for this burger. It's one of the best I've ever had.

My first taste was this past October, during my second trip to Portland. My coworker and I reached our gate early, the Laurelwood Brewery happened to be nearby, and I decided a Santa Fe burger - festooned with black beans, guacamole, jack cheese and an entire green chile - might help pass the time. Then my head exploded.

I spent the 10 minutes it took to eat the thing lauding its virtues to my coworker. It's haunted my dreams ever since.

I missed out on a chance for round two just one month later, when I was late getting to the airport. That set up the fateful June 8 meeting. I made sure to arrive with plenty of time to spare. I went through security, then turned left to find my gate for reconnaissance, I had to see how long it would take me to get back there should I go for two (or more) burgers.

I didn't know the name of the brewery at the time, I just knew there were several others in the airport. There was one right next to my gate. But I knew the one I wanted was to the right of security, at the very end of the next concourse. Off I went. All the way back up mine, all the way down the next.

It wasn't there.

Had I been dreaming? Had it moved? Was I in the wrong part of the airport? I suffered through the 15 minutes ordeal of booting up my laptop to jump on the airport wi-fi to see. Time was starting to dwindle. Yep, I was on the wrong side of the airport. It's a damn H. I found a brewery, Laurelwood Brewery, in the exact location I remembered, as far away as humanly possible.

I damn near sprinted. The rest is not so dramatic - I propped up at the bar, ordered my precious burger with a Hooligan Ale and watched the hated Lakers-Boston matchup. And then there she was. My sweet burger, black beans spilling onto the plate, the chile laying stoically as the foundation for culinary greatness. You almost forget about the smooth guacamole until you take your first bite and it sneak attacks your tongue. Damn. That thing is good. One of the best burgers I've ever eaten.

I made it back to my gate with a few minutes to spare. As I did I glanced at the brewery next door.

It was another Laurelwood.